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"Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colours. And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him." Genesis 37: 3,4 King James Version
I am writing this with a very heavy heart and tears in my eyes. I have spent the last five hours listening to my friends whose marriage is falling apart. The husband left tonight and the wife is devastated.
The wife called me on the phone this afternoon and told me all the things that were happening. Then, the husband came to my house and sat in my living room and told me all the things that were happening and they were completely different stories.
I listened to both of them and told them both the same thing. I told them that only Jesus could put their marriage back together and that I could not give them advice, but I would pray for them. I told both of them that what I was concerned about and what was really breaking my heart is what the children are going through.
The husband told me just twenty minutes ago as he sat in my living room that he loved his older son more than he did his younger son. He said, "My younger son was a mistake. I only wanted one child". My heart broke when he said that as it brought back some very painful memories.
When I was a child, I felt that my parents did not want me. I felt that my sister was my Dad’s favorite, and my brother was my Mom’s favorite. I told Mom how I was feeling and this is what she told me. " I was asleep when you were conceived. I didn’t have anything to do with it, and yes, you were not wanted. The reason your Dad does not love you is because you remind him of me." I think that is the day when the sadness I felt really became a depression that took years to work through with the help of Jesus.
Parents, I submit to you on the Authority of the Word of God that one day you will give an account of every cruel word that you say to your children. You wonder why they do drugs, smoke, and drink, it is because they don’t feel loved. That is not true in every situation. A child can be loved, wanted and nurtured and still do these things. However, most cases that I have seen is because the children do not feel their parents love them.
If your children are grown and you said cruel things to them while they were growing up, don’t dwell on it. Ask Jesus to forgive you and pray that your children will feel how much He Loves them. Jesus is the only One who can give Peace, Joy, and Love, a Love that is Unconditional and Lasting.
Stop tormenting your children. Stop putting them in the middle of your fights. Do not put your spouse down in front of your children. You wonder why your children don’t show respect. It is because they are not seeing respect between their parents.
If one of your children comes to you and asks you if you love him or her, what will you say to him or her? Please give all your children the same attention and love so they will never have to ask you this heartbreaking question.
Joanne Lowe October 1, 2005
GOD’S PRESCRIPTION
"Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones."
Proverbs 16: 24 King James Version
My friends spent five hours last week telling me about their marriage falling apart, and that they were separating. I have been praying for them. I called the wife last night to see how she was feeling. She told me that they were back together and I rejoiced with her. After I hung up, this verse came to my mind. They had told me all the bad and negative things, but neither one of them could take five minutes to let me know they were back together.
We need to speak words to each other that will encourage and lift us up. I received an email from my sister today that brightened my day. Her email encouraged me because I was in a lot of pain from my arthritis.
If we never speak pleasant words to one another, then we are not being an encourager. I know from past experience that no one wants to be around someone who is constantly negative. For years, I was so negative that no one wanted to be around me. I didn’t even want to be around me.
We wonder why we are so sad all the time. It is because we are constantly dwelling on the past and on negative thoughts and feelings. Do you have your eyes on Jesus, or are you focused on your circumstances? Are you saying pleasant words, or constantly complaining?
Joanne Lowe October 12, 2005
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